MJ’s Mailbox: Real Talk for Tired Creatives

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Every so often, someone sends me a message that just gets it — not in a surface-level “relatable” way, but in that deep, soul-stirring way that makes you feel less alone in your own chaos. This one landed in my inbox recently and hit me right in the chest:

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Hey MJ,

I’ve been following your blog for a few months now and honestly, it’s one of the few things that actually feels real on the internet. Your posts about burnout, queerness, and trying to build a creative life while also dealing with everyday chaos? Hit way too close to home.

Lately, I’ve been struggling with the whole “how do I keep creating when life won’t stop being life?” thing. I’ve started and stopped so many projects, and every time I try to get back into it, I feel like I’ve lost all momentum. How do you stay consistent—or even semi-consistent—without burning out or hating everything you make?

Also, not to sound too parasocial, but I loved the blog where you talked about your girlfriend moving in. It made me feel like maybe my own hot mess of a queer love life could work out too someday.

Thanks for always keeping it honest. You really make it feel like we’re all just figuring it out together.

xo, A tired little creative in a tiny apartment

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Dear Tired Little Creative in a Tiny Apartment,

God, first of all—same. You are so not alone in that spiral of "I want to make beautiful things, but I’m emotionally rotting under capitalism and 200 open tabs." I’ve lived in that exact loop more times than I can count.

And here’s the thing: no one warns you how boring and unpredictable building a creative life can be. It’s not always dopamine bursts and Pinterest boards. Sometimes it’s crying in the bath while recording a voice memo idea that’ll never see the light of day. Sometimes it’s opening your laptop, staring at your Google Doc, and closing it again. Sometimes it’s scrolling TikTok for two hours and calling it “research.”

Consistency doesn’t mean rigidity. It means returning. Over and over. Even if what you’re returning to is a mess. Even if you’re showing up empty. Even if your momentum feels dead and you’re trying to resuscitate it with your bare hands. You’re still a creator—even when you’re not producing. Let that be enough sometimes.

When I burn out (which is often, thanks ADHD, people-pleasing, and late-stage capitalism), I ask myself: What’s the smallest version of this I can do without hating it?

Sometimes the answer is “write a sentence.” Sometimes it’s “light a joint and daydream.” Sometimes it’s “nothing today.”

You mentioned losing momentum—but babe, you wrote to me. You’re still in motion. Even now.

And thank you for the kind words about my girlfriend moving in. Our hot mess queer love story is chaotic, loud, powered by three fans, two cats, and one overloaded Google Calendar—but it’s soft and real in all the ways that matter. Yours will be too. It’s not about having it all together; it’s about finding someone who helps you feel safe enough to fall apart.

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Keep making weird little things. Keep starting again. Keep being cringe.

We need your voice, even if you whisper it.

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xoxo,

MJ 💨✨