We Don’t Hang Out Like We Used To

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I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it means to grow apart from people. Not in a dramatic “we had a fight” kind of way — just in that quiet, slow drift that happens when life takes you in different directions.

It’s weird, because there’s no single moment where you realize it. You just look up one day and realize it’s been weeks since you last talked. Months since you hung out. And it’s not that you don’t care — you do — it’s just… different now.

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We’re in different places. Different routines. Different stages of the same messy timeline.

He’s in his mid-twenties, figuring life out in that exciting, chaotic way you do in your twenties. I’m in my mid-thirties, trying to balance creativity, work, love, and just… existing without losing my mind. It’s not that we don’t have anything in common anymore. It’s that our worlds don’t overlap the way they used to.

And I get it. That’s what growing up does. It gives you new priorities, new responsibilities, new mental tabs constantly open in the background. But there’s a part of me that misses the ease of it — the kind of friendship that didn’t need scheduling, that didn’t require syncing Google calendars just to grab a coffee.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s an age thing or just a life thing. Maybe both.

When you’re younger, everything feels infinite. You assume your people will always be there — and maybe they still are, just in quieter ways. But there’s this ache that comes with realizing the people you once talked to every day are now people you update once every few months.

I love you guys, but somewhere along the way, we lost our rhythm. (I don’t actually think they read the blog 😅)

I’ve tried not to take it personally. I know distance doesn’t always mean disinterest. Sometimes it just means we’re all trying to keep up with our own lives. But I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t sting sometimes — to share something I’m excited about and be met with silence. To hit milestones and realize the people I thought would be there to cheer me on… aren’t.

And maybe that’s just part of growing older — realizing that some friendships are meant to evolve, and some quietly fade. Not because of hate or drama, but because life keeps moving whether you’re ready or not.

Still, I hope they’re doing okay. I hope they’re happy, even if we’re not side-by-side the way we used to be.

And I hope they know that even with the distance, I still think about them sometimes. The memories don’t go away — they just settle somewhere softer.

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Maybe that’s what growing apart really is.

Not losing each other, but learning to love people from afar.

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xoxo,

MJ 🍃